Who's to say the effects absentee celebrity chefs have on a city's collective psyche? Yes, you're worthy enough for us to grant you our presence, but temper that excitement – it'll only be for a day. Possibly two.

That sort of treatment won't help our inferiority complex any, so maybe a "glass half-full" approach is the way to go. Maybe we should just be thankful that gastro-astros Masaharu Morimoto, Jose Andres, Rick Bayless, Art Smith and Wolfgang Puck have restaurants here at all. Yeah, that feels a lot better, doesn't it? Take that, Tampa! You too, Cincinnati!